The year that was

I am still at a standstill, almost as if the new year hasn’t begun for me. But I’ll get there, soon enough. I always catch up just in time.

I’ve been wanting to summarize my year, but at every attempt, I realized, so much has slipped my mind. I couldn’t remember little little details of the year to commemorate the year that was, but here are the three things/people who changed 2009 for me (including random, incoherent notes of whatever I can remember).

Hazel, flap, Hazel clap, Hazel high five, Hazel look at Patchy, Hazel don’t sneeze at me, Hazel say excuse meeee! Putting Hazel to sleep while Voxtrot plays feels like once upon a time ago. Hazel teething, Hazel bit my finger. Hazel stop changing my channel. Hazel I think this is love.

He’s the island boy, I’m the girl who wanted to intern at Harper’s Bazaar. He steered the direction of my year away from (further) self-harm, and I ran from him so many times. Running was empowering, but I finally learned to (almost) stop thinking that I function as a single unit. I cannot remember what life was like before 100+ texts/day. Saying I love you back was usually a little difficult, and never a reflex, so every time I do, I really mean it.

The third is not a person, sort of a state of mind induced by multiple persons full stop.